Sunday, 22 July 2007

How do you know if you really love someone?

How to know if someone is your true beloved – how to know how to attract this energy?
The answers lie in your self-worth and realisation of your own inner image. In my healing sessions with people, I have encountered this question more often than not – as it is probably one of the most important questions you have to ask..
Love, or the lack thereof, very literally makes our world go round –
The answer is actually quite simple, but it is the implementation that might be more intricate:

Istly - If you really wish to know if someone is the ‘right one’ in love, then ask yourself what you would do/feel if that person was no longer going to be there from now on – just POOF! – gone. Or even imagine yourself in a situation where you are no longer there – you no longer exist in any form; your essence is nowhere.
The person’s name you ultimately come up with; that’s your answer. Maybe you don’t come up with the name you thought you would?

We also have to bear in mind that having the ‘right one’ and only ‘that one’ is not going to be. To place yourself in an idyll of meeting your one-and-only life partner from the word go – and that’s it, end of discussion – is to set yourself up for much disappointment.

2ndly – Ego has to be removed from the entire equation. This can only be achieved through experience and working with our concept of time.

Intimate relationships are all subject to five considerations:

· Allowing your relationship to slip into predictable and monotonous routines:

By becoming overly comfortable with each other’s habits and attitudes, we unknowingly sow disaster. It also, as usual, takes two to tango – if only one partner makes the attempt at keeping the relationship fresh, well……, sorry, it ain’t going to work.
It is not easy keeping a relationship ‘wide eyed and bushy tailed’ when we are concentrating on running around, taking care of everything, but our own inner happiness. Sheer exhaustion is a killer of many more than just your inner stamina.
Keeping it fresh and lively should also not be a stressful factor – just breaking routine is what you need. Organising to go out to attend something social in the week is a fantastic way to break monotony. Do something regular with your partner in the week and also something irregular. Once you are in a set and predictable rut in all your relationship dealings, it is very hard to get out of it.

· Taking each other for granted and not attending to your partner’s needs:

Taking someone’s needs for granted is like telling someone that they are boring and unnecessary.
When you are truly with a person who you dearly love, you will naturally – and without thought - consider their requirements.
I am not talking about requirements thrown in the face of love – a relationship that is based on mental and emotional requirement will never survive very long. But, once again, it has to be both partners who consider each other’s life-paths – otherwise there will be no joy.
To be wilfully inconsiderate of another equates, energy wise, to placing yourself on a pedestal of non-caring. It is something that can be tangibly felt and is subconsciously filed.

· Update the growth of your relationship:

Things change – they always do. Remember – in life, CHANGE is the only constant.
Your relationship(s) is(are) going to grow – you cannot change that. So rather than fight the course of life, go with it and embrace it with your partner.
Maturity is the name of the game here – that is: mental and emotional maturity.
Be mature enough to say when something is not working for you – be mature enough to listen to what your partner is saying if something is not working for them.
And be mature enough to know when and if to let go – in everything.

· Making assumptions about what you think your partner is thinking and doing:

Mistrust is a gnawing rat that will eventually disembowel you. It is folly to surround your partner with an energy of your own assumption. Assuming them to be something they are not, is not going to work – When finally faced with one’s own growth, a person will always choose to be who they innately are – how long this takes depends on many things from the person him/herself, but it will eventually always be the winner.

· Not making your relationship a priority:

This is the biggy-one: When in an intimate relationship with someone, you know that there are things that you are going to have to compromise on – and they as well. It is natural and cosmically ‘right’ for us to be drawn together in loving relationships, especially intimate ones. In this you have to know that when two people form this bond, they generate a single energy – and there is also still the two individual energies of the separate people involved. Both these concepts have to exist, as foregoing the one in favour of the other is tantamount to murder.
An intimate relationship should have priority over and within the world of relationships. Here we encounter many accompanying energies such as respect, honour and open communication, etc.
Ultimately, if life is not a priority, then what is the point?”


Tracey said...

This is really apt. I think more people should take note of these things - it would make things easier.

Anonymous said...

Whether straight or gay, I think these pointers are vital to a romantic relationship.
A meaningful blog.